On Old Knees and Running Thoughts on Sanctification

Today I ran a 5k and I made awful time.  As I was plugging away, watching the people in front of me grow fainter and more distant, I had a recurring thought that went something like this, "Why am I in such bad shape?  I mean, I know I've been busy, but I should seriously make more time for exercise."  I have great intentions.  They don't often get me to the gym, but they're grand none-the-less.  

I continued to mentally berate myself, which honestly probably had as much to do with it being morning as it did with me dragging myself all over Earlewood Park.  Side Note:  I walked up to the starting line and a guy from my church exclaimed, "Not a morning person, aye?"  Good to know that it's written across my face.  But back to the main point...

As I continued to give myself a hard time, I recalled waking up from my second knee surgery 12 years ago, bleary eyed, my surgeon saying quietly, "It didn't go as we expected."  I went in to get a scope, and came out with a complete knee reconstruction.  "You were on the table for four hours, and it's the most extensive soft-tissue surgery I've ever done.  You'll have constant knee pain.  You'll never be able to run again."  Come again?  

After 50+ knee dislocations and 2 knee surgeries, I do have constant pain in my knees.  When I was plodding in the wee hours this morning, I realized I'm fortunate to just be running at all.  Why do I beat myself up about all the distance I haven't covered, and fail to see the progress I've already made?  Classic Christi.  

And then I realized that I've been doing this all year.

It's been a hard year.  Many things have come along that have shown me how much growing I still need to do.  There have been times I've been so disappointed in what I see in my character.  There have been times I've wondered that why, as a fully-fledged adult (at least by age), I don't know how to handle something.  There have been times I've realized I still make big deals out of small things and small deals out of big things.  It's like I'm still being calibrated.  It's frustrating.  

This year I've often wished I were closer to Jesus, knew the Bible better, and heard the Spirit more.

Interestingly, when I've brought this up with others recently, they often tell me how great I am!  I know my gleaming exterior and flawless social skills easily leave the impression that I'm about as great as I can be, but I promise I still have some sanctification left to be done.  "For the Bible tells me so..."

And isn't that the rub of it?  At the end of the day, I only actually care about what God thinks of my character and faithfulness this past year.  And reflecting with Him looks like it's going to be more of a prayerful process than a quick Q and A.  Classic God.  

Let me say this clearly.  Followers of Christ have to take His call to "Be holy as I am holy*" seriously.  The sin that still remains in my life not only affects me, but also the people around me and my perspective and worship of a wonderful, deserving, loving God.  If Christianity were the mere management of this sin, what hope would I have?  It's like the Lord knew what He was doing when He decided I couldn't really improve my way out of sin and instead moved heaven and earth to grant me His Son's righteousness.*  My starting ground for sanctification is "peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ.*"  From that safe foundation, I can admit I see some concerning spiritual fruit on my tree.* 

Yet, as I trudge past houses perched on hills and cheerful onlookers,  I'm encouraged to give myself the same grace towards my person that I should give towards my 80-year-old's knees.  Yes, I have much more growing to do in becoming like Christ, and God's gracious and persistent love that shows me this.*  But as I think back over the past 10 years of walking closely with God, I'm reminded that He's already transformed me about 100 times over.  Every two years I look at the person I was two years prior and think, "I'm a whole new person."  He is being faithful to finish the good work He began in me.*  I have to celebrate how far we've come, even in light of the 2 miles, err, great distance still left until I've given Christ the full devotion He's due.

My Christian life began with God, it's advanced and maintained by God, and it will be completed by God.  And sometimes I have to remember that the story is really about Him, and all the great work He gets credit for.* That's about the only thing that will lift my eyes up off of the dewy asphalt and thudding running shoes and let me embrace all the distance that's still left to be covered.  

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*Being a teacher at heart, I couldn't help but footnote some Bible verses that are sources for many of my thoughts above, in the order from the post.  These verses are tried and true supports and encouragements in my life. 

• "But as he who called you is holy, you also be holy in all your conduct, since it is written, 'You shall be holy, for I am holy.'"  (1 Peter 1:15-16)
• "For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God."  (2 Corinthians 5:21)   
• "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come."  (2 Corinthians 5:17)
• "Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ."  (Romans 5:1)
• "Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! And see if there be any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting!"  (Psalms 139:23-24)
• "For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it."  (Hebrews 12:11)
• "And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ."  (Philippians 1:6)
• "Now to him who is able to keep you from stumbling and to present you blameless before the presence of his glory with great joy, to the only God, our Savior, through Jesus Christ our Lord, be glory, majesty, dominion, and authority, before all time and now and forever. Amen." (Jude 1:24-25)

I used a lot of Christianese in this post, so if anything here confuses you, or is something you would like to sincerely discuss further, I would be glad to speak with you!

3-2-1, Clear!

One year ago I lived in Lebanon.  Seven months ago I stopped blogging because transitioning and moving is a bunch of blah blah blah...  No one really wants to read about that.

Speaking of nobody, one day not long after I got back I was hanging out with a friend who said, "Ain't nobody got time for that!"  We laughed and he said, "All the kids in my class can recite the whole thing."  Then:

Me: "Yeah...  Wait, they can say the whole phrase?  Is that what you're talking about?"
Him:  "Well yeah, they can say all of the lines."
Me:  "Um, what do you mean?"
Him:  "The whole interview."
Me:  "That's from an interview!?"
Him:  "Yeah. Haven't you seen it?  Where did you think that line came from?"
Me:  "I don't know.  I was in Lebanon and it just start popping up on Facebook and Pinterest...  I didn't realize it was, like, a thing!"

Then I visited YouTube and remedied my ignorance.  There have been other moments like that though, including the time I was at a family reunion and discovered one of my cousins died in a car accident while I was overseas.  Oh my.

But now that I'm (hopefully) crawling out of what can only be described as the black hole of re-entry, I've decided it's time to get back on the blogging band-wagon.  Brace yourselves!

Mrs. Cresty

My friend Ethan (age 7) was throwing paper planes tonight at church.  He had a mini one that said "Ethan's Plaine" all over it.  I played with him a little, and later found this sweet gift in my office:

Now, there are three options (and really only 3 options) for interpreting the spelling of my name, and the 'Mrs:' 

1. There is someone else in my church actually named Mrs. Cresty, and Ethan left this plane on my desk for her. (Unlikely)
2. I've married and changed the spelling of my name from Christi to Cresty.  
3. I've married someone with the last name Cresty, making my name Christi Cresty.

Now, on the left-side Captains window it says Mr. Cresty.  I think this makes option 3 the most viable.  You?

Happy Birthday Jon

A year ago last week I boarded a plane for Dallas for a work conference. Well, I boarded one of 2 planes that would together take me to Dallas.  As I waved farewell to my friends who had a direct flight (really?), I headed to my seat, for the one of maybe 2 times each year that I wanted to be left alone.

I was tired.  The holidays had been exhausting; I had had many hard conversations.  I was flying to my 5th city in 7 days.  I wanted to be left alone.  I had nothing left to give.

I had a middle seat between 2 men. No bother.  I had brought a book, magazine, and my IPod, all of which I soon exhausted.  I felt like a zombie, and I'm pretty sure I looked like one too.

When the plane landed in TX though, something had happened that I would not soon forget.  I met Jon.

Admist all of my attempts to zone out, Jon had managed to strike up a conversation with me.  He was next to the window, and he just seemed hungry to talk to someone.  Not needy. Just hungry.  As we tiptoed forward in conversation, I soon found out that Jon had just had a nasty divorce, was flying to TX to live with his sister, and had nothing more with him than the bag under his seat.

Enter my inner dialogue.  "I can't believe I'm having this conversation right now.  I think God's leading us to the gospel, but I don't know that I have it in me to have an intelligible conversation" (and yes, I would used the word intelligible even thought I didn't feel intelligible).  But God opened the doors.  It seemed like Jon was just happy to be talking to a smiling face, relieved to find some humanity in the world.

Out of energy to be creative, I finally just asked Jon that if he were to die that night, how sure would he be that he is going to heaven.  His answer: "About 60%."  I shared.  I shared how God loved him, and this cop teared up.  I shared how he was separated from his Creator, and how out of love, God had taken on his sin on the cross.  I shared that God yearned for a personal relationship with him, but he couldn't have it by cleaning up his life.  He had to just accept the grace, and enter into the relationship empty-handed.

His response: "That's really humbling."  Jon ended up accepting Christ right there in row 11.  He wanted to pray.  He wanted the relationship.  He wanted it right then even though people around us were listening in.  After he prayed, he looked up and tearily said, "This changes everything."

There were 45 minutes left on the flight.  What do we talk about now? We've already covered eternal security.  As I listened, I got a glimpse of what God was going to do in Jon's life, and I heard God speaking to mine.  Right in that moment, the moment when I realized Jon was laying down his old life for a new life, God spoke to me.  He told me He saw what I saw.  That all of the things that hurt my heart about the brokeness around me, they grieved Him too.  The spiritual conversation I had with Jon (with no real suaveness of my own, but through God carrying me), that was the conversation I would die to have with so many friends and family.  God saw that too, and He comforted me.

Jon and I exchanged names and said we'd find each other on Facebook.  I've still never been able to find him.  Too many Jon's with his last name... And his friend request has yet to light up my Notification bar.  Sometimes this worries me.  Did he get connected with a church?  Did he get any healing from his divorce?  Does he ever get to see his kids?  But then I think of the God who met both of our needs in so perfect a moment, and I know that that God is taking care of Jon.  He would not go just far enough to win him, only to abandon him again.

I write this because it has been a year, more or less, since my time with Jon.  I look back on it as a stone-of-remembrance in my own walk with God, a time He spoke to me in such a sweet, personal, unsolicited way.   I wonder if Jon is out there, and if he may read this...  if I'll ever here from him, if he is walking with God.  Apparently, these aren't the things for me to know, but if that conversation meant what I think it meant, then I'll see Jon in heaven, and we can swap stories then.

Happy Spiritual Birthday Jon.  I pray you still experience the peace with God that you found on your first plane flight that day when you sighed, "I have peace.  I have peace for the first time in my life."